indecently undignified

wow so i guess i'm gonna try actually posting shit here or something ????

it's not like i post a lot anywhere anymore so at least all the standards are lowered

but yeah it's looking like my communities from tumblr are going to be split between here, pillowfort, and twitter

i don't know if i even want to keep logging in to tumblr ultimately, i'm kind of lowkey but honestly pissed about how they're about to up and delete all my shit

stand by for me to repost at LEAST all the shit from my writing blog for sure though. D

i feel like i’m finally getting somewhere in my life to some extent, like i’m so much better than the pit of despair i’ve been in for so long, but it’s that point where i’m just realizing that this is /hard/, getting better is hard, being depressed isn’t easy but it’s low-effort, and getting better is shit-ton-of-effort. and that’s stressful and scary and i just. am muddling along i guess.

and i’m moving which is really exciting and really stressful/discomfitting at the same time, because well i’m really excited for the new place and living with venxy and stuff but i’ve been at the madhouse for three/four years and the madhouse has so much lore and magic and mystery that i will be sad to leave behind.

also the other people involved with the house (roommate, landlord, who is also roommate’s mother and an old family friend) seem to be really mad/upset at me for leaving and it’s really hard to explain to them that i’m not doing this to make their lives hard when they won’t?? talk to me??? i dunno i haven’t seen my roommate all month so. uhm. i don’t even know. i don’t even know.

i just want it to be done and over with tho god

tonight was the last night of the pride film festival and the films tonight were really good but as always it was the late-night dance party that killed

i totalled two people at least who had to ask if betsy and i were together (we aren't, but you do kind of have to ask that to be sure with two girls attending a gay event like that hahah) danced with at least 4 different sets of people, made out with one, and got at least five major compliments on my outfit/general being, the highlights of which were definitely the first person, who took one look at me and declared that my outfit was "a religious experience" and the last one, whose exact wording i forget but was definitely something along the lines of "you are perfect/flawless" and i was just so touched ad;aohirgaoihg

anyway i have now danced for like nearly three hours and everything hurts and i have a headache but it was totally worth it


oh yeah i nearly forgot!! and on the drive home after dropping betsy off, the radio played "some nights" by fun and "say hey (i love you)" by michael frant which are like straight off of my fucking music collection omfg

sister took me to see frozen today

and like, watching movies in theatre is really hard on me lately. i get so wrapped up in things even when i'm at home and like, the surround-sound, larger-than-life effect of movies is just like. tenfold. and i'm really emotional because i just. yeah. so i started crying just because i really liked the opening music and just. kept on-and-off with every fricking song like a fucking leaky faucet it was awful

i did really enjoy the movie tho i just wish i hadn't cried at like every single part of it like a fucking fool

OH! OH
i sat here for a while trying to figure out how the everloving fuck i actually had this account before i finally realized i probably made it to view kink memes and never actually used the journal function? what on earth.

wow. journaling. i haven't done that in forever. maybe i should pick it up again, i've been looking for a good alternative to tumblr for a while. i tend to get wrapped up in one or three sites and never quite figure out that the rest of the internet exists in the meantime.